Wednesday

Being Married Doesnt Require That You Know Everything




Were Individuals

My wife and I do many things and don’t necessarily share all that information with each other. And the reason we don’t is because we each realize were individuals and we trust each other. Oh sometimes I inquire just to show myself I can and the information comes forth like the light of day every day. We don’t have secrets from each other but like I said we are separate human beings and thus we react to things from our own point of view. My wife is always telling me to forge ahead and don’t worry what I think because this is your project. And that’s the way we approach life. We love, trust and give each the space to be who they are. Yes we ask from time to time but most of the time things just flow because that’s the way we feel about being who we are.

Were Still the Same

Being married doesn’t mean life for us changes, it just means were dedicated to each other because we love each other. The same day she said yes we sat down and mapped out the plan how we wanted things to be after saying we do. I Choice not to be a parent and thus left that obligation to her when things required attention concerning her two sons. We both wanted to maintain our own accounts and each agreed to pay obligations on a fifty fifty basis. I choose to move in with her and she agreed. She had a house, a two-car garage and central air. How could I say no to that. She had only one bath I installed another and so that journey went before the I dos were administered. We also very much wanted to remain having our normal routines and continue meeting other people in our lives before getting married. And that included both men and women. For me it meant seeing people at my Elks Lodge and other situations like that. In other words we both had friends and etc we wanted to continue seeing because that was important to each of us.

Talk First & Live Happily Ever After

We discovered having these conversations and making these decisions before marriage was an easy thing to do and made us both feel good about getting together and understanding how things would flow between us. We both felt that solving problems needed to be done before the I dos and if they couldn’t that’s the time to reconsider not getting married in the first place.

Solve It or Leave It

Our love is as strong today as the day we said our dos. We didn’t have problems because we solved everything in advance. May I suggest the same for you? Remember if you cant solve it now, what makes you think you can later.


Don L. Terrill

photo by compujeramey