Wednesday

Toilet Seats are Best Left Down




Seats Are There For A Reason

The day before yesterday I decided to write about marriage secrets and since I’ve been successfully married for over sixteen years that qualifies me to write about the subject. So in order to create a database of material I asked my oldest son for some thoughts. Apparently his first thought was to ask Beverly his one and only love for her thoughts. They being successfully married qualify for admittance to share their thoughts on marriage tips. So Beverly suggested a topic about toilet seats would be appropriate. So lets give it a flush and see how it works.

Cold Water And Butts Dont Mix

I’m developing this article while driving to McDonalds for a delicious side salad. Which does not thrill me but does meet with my doctor’s approval who discovered I have a slightly high cholesterol reading. The ranch dressing just barely makes the salad doable. During eating I discussed the toilet seat thought with my wife and said I don’t see the big deal with the seat stuff. But to my surprise, it did to her. She said apparently you have never sat down on a stool with the seat up. She did and it happened early in the morning when the sand man dust was still blurring her vision and she didn’t notice the seat was up. My wife’s cute body part apparently touched the coldness of the water and with no sense of censorship informed her then husband if this ever happens again he would be exiled to Alcatraz where the have no seats. Of course I’m not privy to what she really said so I’m just making this up. But all kidding aside when she told me this she was serious. So I being of sound mind and understand what thought she’s sharing with me. If I, which I never have, leave the seat up my keyster is going to be booted to the curb. Now she didn’t say that but that’s the email picture I received in my brain. And a picture tells more then a bunch of words.

Do Men Listen?

Then like usual I visited the men’s room and needed to sit rather then stand. Guess what the seat was up. Is that mind opening or what? And then with new insight in my head I thought how rude of the previous occupant for leaving the seat up. Apparently he hasn’t spoken with my wife yet.

I Felt the Difference

Then on the ride home I remembered a tit bit from my past. On this particular night I enjoyed too many brewski's and spicy food. In the wee hours of sleeping my disposal system kicked in and a quick journey to the bathroom was required and I sat down and the seat was up, boy did that add to the discomfort I was experiencing. It's funny what we remember when we think about something. Take is it from one who knows the stool works better when the seat is down. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by Linda N.