Tuesday

Being Always Right Can Hurt Your Marriage




We All Make Mistakes

We all make mistakes and that’s a reality of life. Not owning up to yours can be a clog in the wheel of togetherness and that doesn’t float well in the face of good thinking.

All Seemed Well at First

My wife and I used to, before we moved to the south enjoyed the company of two locals we met while going through this wine tasting winery. The were out going and fun loving people and that messed well with are way of thinking. But after numerous get togethers we started to observe a pattern of behavior that we thought should have been discovered by them and fixed. But they seemed to be into it, but not aware of it.

He Was Never Wrong

And it really didn’t hit us because we were so over whelmed with all the great conversation, laughter and togetherness. I mean this couple was so good at playing the part that it didn’t rear its ugly face till we all started sharing more time with each other. Then we started noticing that Dave never showed any signs of ever being wrong. And it all came to a head during a wine consuming moment when out of the blue his wife said rather loudly ya ya ya your never wrong and I’m getting sick and of tired of that arrogant B.S.

Dave Showed His True Side

This kind of pushed us back because we never viewed this side of their relationship before. A few more words were shared by both and Dave stormed out yelling I’m leaving. And did indeed drive off and leave his wife with us. We all sat mute and just sipped a little wine and the then the silence was broken by the server asking us if we were ok. All said yes and that broke the ice. Marge his wife said I’m sorry that happened but Dave is a person that doesn’t see he must to be right all the time and won't ever admit he’s ever wrong. My wife and till just sipped and finely I said do you think he will be coming back? Marge said yes but not till he calls and tries to smooth things over. Normally she said after I accepted his suggesting thought that we drop the subject and just move on to making up he feels all is well and forgets the whole thing like nothing happened. But she said I'm not letting it go any more like I always have.

Dave Always Dug His Way Out

Soon her cell phone rang and apparently Dave was trying his normal way of digging himself out of the mess he was in. But his wife wasn’t buying the pitch anymore. And just said by and hit the off button. She called a friend of hers and arranged to stay the night with her. We dropped her off and never were called again for a social gathering. We weren't sure what to do, so we did nothing and then one day maybe six months later we spotted Marge at the Gulf course and said hi. She responded in kind and joined us for a coke. She must have noticed the question mark on my forehead and said they were separated and in the process of getting a divorce. She left to golf and that was that.

Know One is Right All the Time

Marriages fail for all kinds of reasons and being right all the time is just one of them. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by Siyad Ma