Are Your Parents Stepping Over the Line?
Your Vows Terminate Their Parenting
When you get married your spouse is the person you should have council with, not your parents. Yes you have spent a great deal of time having to pay attention and listening to your parents. But when you get married that connection should sever and the person who you should solve your problems with, is your spouse. Yes you are more familiar with your parents and yes they will listen to you and even re connect the umbilical cord if you request it; but your spouse will trip over the cord and that won't promote the wellness you want in your marriage.
Parents Will Always Parent if You Let Them
If your parents can fulfill your dreams and stop being the controllers in your life, then maybe, you should stay with them rather then getting married. But they will always be your parents and parents do what they do and that’s a growing up thing, which only works until your brain kicks in and you start thinking for yourself.
Your Parents Raised You, But Now Your Married
Parents serve a purpose and that is to prepare you for adulthood and then like a bird you have to fly on your own or perish without trying. I remember a skit on tv where these naturalists made a movie watching a family of eagles have children and the process of getting the newbie’s to grow up and leave the nest. The Eagle parents are a tat more pushy about getting the newborns to leave the nest and take care of themselves. They the parents created their nest on the side of a cliff and the only way to leave the nest was jumping out and flying or as the movie makers found out, they the newbie’s were left with no other choice. Apparently the parents had three baby eagles one died during the eating process because he was too weak and couldn’t fight for his share of the food. In time one of the two remaining kids jumped off and flew for a while and then tried to return to the home of his birth, the parents refused to allow him to return home and he eventually got the point and flew away. The remaining kid refused to fly so the parents stopped bringing food home in the hope of forcing the reluctant baby to fly, this didn’t work so the parents slowly disconnected the nest and finally with no more options the baby fell off and struggled for a moment but then took flight.
Your Now in Charge
Here’s the moral of the story parents have a huge responsibility to raise their children but when the time comes, they must force the children to fly on their own or crash and tumble down the hill; either way parents must stop being parents and allow their children to become who they are. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.
Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru
photo by Rubyran
Posted by Don L. Terrill at 6:58 AM