Friday

A Good Appearance Helps a Partnership




Be With the Times

Watch people that you see everyday and view what they are wearing and from this you can observe what the current generation is wearing. No you don't want to give up being who you are, but its a great way to see what’s going on and how you might want to consider dressing like, using your own selection process.

Find a Friendly Store to Shop

Now find yourself a store that suits your feelings. A place were you can move at your own pace and you don’t feel rushed or anything like that. Now start the process of trying things on and then pick out things to take home. It’s also sometimes a good thing to have your spouse go with you or maybe or a Friend or perhaps another relative. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone give you input that will be honest with you and tell you when something is really off base and really isn’t working for you.

Wear at Home for Final Decision to Keep or Return

Take your selections home and remove all the tags, this will help the wearing experience work better for you. Then even take the stuff for a spin and then if it doesn’t work out return and get a refund. Also if the product doesn’t fit after washing or something like that return for a refund. Also after wearing for a few times you might detect a flaw you missed, return it; I’m convinced the store if up scale will rather have your business over a long period, rather then losing your business over one item of wear.

Being Current is Good

Now your keeping yourself updated’ your going to find that you feel better about yourself and take pride in how you look and that will go along way in improving the quality of your life. And if your like me your don’t have to go to the high price stores to accomplish your goals. This is not a plug but I personally enjoy going to Kohls. Everything works well there for me. I hardly ever have anyone working at the store bother me or are observing my behavior. But when I need someone there eager to help. And there return policy is only one question, is there something wrong with the product? And there always so kind with there words and hardly ever make you wait long at the check out locations.

Well Maintained Bathrooms Impress Me

Now this observation really works well for me. Their washrooms are always well maintained. I being a cancer survivor still have special needs and with more frequency and I really appreciate their washrooms.

Find the Deals

There also running specials all the time and will send you notices of these events if you wish. Also senior like myself get an extra deduction at the check out. So its a plus plus for me.

Keeping up to date is good for you and your feelings. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by jakeliefer

Sunday

Don't Let Your Mouth Ruin Your Marriage




He Loses Control of his Words

Bill is kind of like superman, one minute he’s mild mannered, but then there are moments when he enters the phone booth and changes to a new person. And that probably wouldn't be a bad thing, if that made you a better person. Bill leaves the phone with a big mouth and hes prepared to use it. He’s wife Melody says she prays for peace every time they go out with other people. And she says there no specific thing that kicks him off. She says that most of the time Bill is very passive and hardly interrupts or for that matter hardly injects a thought while in this passive mood. But then like a bolt of lighting, he strikes and takes no prisoners. No matter what your saying hes on the other side of the issue and if that isn't bad enough he also raises the volume of his words as his rage kicks in. Melody says trying to control him is a total waste of time and finds comfort in just leaving him to his rage and exits to something like the bathroom or even going so far as to leave him and drive home. Eventually he will call and request a ride. Sometimes depending on his tone she picks him up. Other times she just put the phone down and hangs up when she hears the dial tone. Bill of course is ok when he finally gets home and is always puzzled why his wife runs out and leaves him to his own resources.

She Delivered Two Options

Finally out of sheer desperation she said divorce or therapy the choice is yours. Bill despite his raging said he loved his wife and opted for brain tinkering and not the farewell thing.

Insight Was Gained by Both of Them

During therapy they both learned things that gave them better insight into why they do certain things. So it was an eye opening experience for both of them. Tho the therapy was primarily for Bill, Melody learned triggers from her past that influenced bad behavior on her part.

Supervising Your Words is a Good Thing

It’s hard to imagine Bill being that other person today. Now hes a pillar of control and never raises his voice anymore. Even he speaks of how better he feels about himself and how better it is for their marriage.

Help is Often Helpful

So if you see yourself in this scenario maybe counseling will work for you. I have experienced my dark side and found help in talking to head people. After all were all human and sometimes like are car we need a tune up. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by abominable_eagle

Tuesday

Share Good Thoughts With Each Other




Just Takes A Nudge

Most people are eager to share their thoughts on subjects their interested in and getting the ball rolling only takes a nudge. So learning the art of nudging is good medicine for all couples that love each other and truly wish their spouse to be happy. And just think about it, it doesn’t cost a plug nickel to deliver the subject matter.

Good Talk Is Good

I love talking to my wife and enjoy the warmth I feel when she’s feeling good about herself. And I’m genuine about my interest in what she is saying, so the process ends up being good for both of us.

Share Wellness

Before shutting down for the day we always spend an hour or two watching and commenting about whats happening in the television world. During this process we often hit the pause button and discuss matters of interest to us. One thought I shared was I really enjoyed the way you marinated the chicken before cooking it on the grill and I was telling the truth. We probably spent fifteen minutes interacting that thought between each other and then paused ourselves back into the television presentation. And that’s how simple it is to share an enjoyable subject with each other.

Note On Mirror

The next day my wife left the house early while I slept in. My first activity in the morning is to brush my teeth and that’s when I noticed a note on my mirror that said I love you! Now that’s a great way to start the day. I smiled and left the note there to remind me to say thank you when my love got home.

Eyes Sparkle

We all have points of interest we enjoy talking about and bringing up the good stuff for each other is a great way promote good talk that always makes us feel good. You know you’re on point when you see the sparkle in their eyes and their tone of voice says I love talking about this.

So rather then just sharing idle conversation why not say the words that bring sun shine to the eyes of the person you love and in time the sun light will be returned to you.


Don L. Terrill

photo by

Sunday

An Excellent Marriage is all About Love




My First Lip Touching


Susan was my first girl friend, we met in one of my Junior High Classes. The romance started with a note from one of her girl friends and the note said do you like Susan? I signed the note yes and the romance started. Two days later Susan passed a note to me and asked if I would walk her home? Once again I said yes. We talked in the hallway between classes and agreed to meet by the cannon; a weapon of the civil war. We met and I carried her books and walked her up to her front step and then gave her the books and she went in the house.

Invited Her to a Dance

Two weeks later I asked if she would join me for an early Saturday night dance which started at six and ended at eight. My dancing abilities was awkward, shaky and I was stiff as a board. Once again I walked her home and this time we held hands for the first time. We arrived at her home and the front porch light went on as we walked up the step. I could feel the presence of her parents looking at us. We both faced the door and then she turned and kiss me on the cheek, I blushed and she rushed in the house. That was my first dance and peck on the cheek.

Didn't Have Much Technique But Loved Being Close

Today I save all my dances for Linda the forever love of my life. I still can't dance very well but it doesn't seem to matter to us. Were just glad to be holding each other and felling those special feelings for each other.

Dancing At Wedding

The last dance we attended was at my wifes youngest sons wedding and a good time was had by all. I even danced with the bride and she was as pretty as any bride I have ever seen.

Our Fifth Grandchild

A while ago we celebrated the arrival of our fifth grand child and someday God willing he will share notes with his first girl friend and then they will walk to their first dance. And then time will pass and so will I, but dancing will live on after me. And so that is the part dancing plays in the scheme of things.

Dancing & Marriage go Well Together

So dance your way to a loving marriage and find those loving feelings for yourself. That's how I feel and I'm sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by davequ

Friday

Hugs Are Good for You




Can't Hug Too Much

I'm constantly amazed how few married people we know who hug like we do. Now that I'm thinking of it, most of them don't even hug at all. And I think that's a telling sign of how things are going in their marriage. I'm puzzled by that observation and wonder why they don't?

Just Want Hugs and Works Like I Love You

When I retired I didn't anticipate all the free time I would have. I guess I thought that I would be happy not having to work anymore. I didn't realize how much time my job consumed in my life and didn't make a plan to fill up that empty space. So like many newbees to the I'm retired scene; I opted to work part time for a friend of mine who installed windows and had a side business selling products through their store and the internet. My friend was a super person. He provided well for his wife and himself and was well thought of by everyone that knew him. And he and his wife seemed to be happy with each other. But one day while waiting for him to get off the phone, I spent sometime talking to his wife. She shared a thought with me that really surprised me. She told me I wish my husband would talk to me like you talk to your wife. Your always saying loving things to each other and always hug when you see each other. She said her husband never hugs or tells her that he loves her.

He Cant Say I Love You

And she said no matter how I prompt him he just won't say the words. I told her that it was cristal clear to me how he felt about her by the way he treats her and never speaks badly of her. This question from her comes into my consciousness every once in awhile and I wonder why people have so much trouble sharing the words of love. I love loving my wife and wouldn't have it any other way. I wonder sometimes why we as a society aren't getting the point by failing to say what we think about someone and how special they are to us. Now I wasn't always this way. One day I woke up and just decided to make happiness my number one priority and I changed my life accordingly. Happiness became my best friend and unhappiness was avoided at all cost.

Share Love Its Good for You

After having the mind altering change I saw life for what it really was and became a loving person. That's how I managed to find the love of my life, because love openend my eyes and I've been seeing better every since.

Love Words Will Restart Your Partnership

If life isn't working for you? may I suggest you imbrace love and open your eyes and find the love of your life. That's how I feel and Im sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by Meepocity

Wednesday

Marriage Is All About Family




The More the Better

My wife, I and Her immediate family bolted and ended up living in North Carolina. I came from a three family member configuration. That three for me has now extended to many more family members and I'm just giddy about the whole thing. It's great getting together and sharing the war stories of daily life and it's a huge upper to have Grand Children. Which my wife and I now have five and a new one is soon to arrive in late October. What a joy it is to be part of a family and have such closeness to each other.

Our Youngest is a Beautiful Girl

Our youngest is Brayden just three weeks old and already charming the pants off those around him. He likes the closeness of someone and settles down to just being calm. When hes kind of crankie all you have to do is just rest your hand next to his face and he finds comfort and drifts off into his little world, that's growing bigger everyday.

Families Look Out for Each Other

Family members find comfort in each other and through conversation find solutions that help them feel better about things in their life. People who aren't feeling this close togetherness are missing the basic therapy of life and that is the give and take getting together and being support for each other. Sure you can move to an island and find so lice but what's the joy in that.

They Declared Me One of Them

After crashing with my first marriage and found comfort so I thought will singleness of my life. I'm sure that was a way of trying to avoid making the same mistake the next time. During this span of time I met a girl who I dated a half dozen times. One time she asked if I would like to come to one of her family reunion and I not really thinking about it said yes. She hailed from a small suburb in the outskirts of Chicago. They the family members that sponsored the event estimated that over three hundred family members attended and it was held on a small farm. Banquet tables were everywhere and the food seemed to have no ending. Almost immediately people said hi and shook my hand and some even tried to figure out which branch of the family I belonged to.

I Enjoyed the Hugging

In a matter of one hour or less I officially became part of their family and even participated in the good hugs. It was an incredible high for me and I didn't even have to take something to get there.

Bonding With Family is a Good Things

So if your not doing it now, start tomorrow and bond with your family members. I'm sure like me, it will be a major plus for you.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by Saadia Malik