Monday

There are Three Components In a Marriage




He, Her and the Marriage

Have you ever noticed that he and her are the same by adding or removing a letter in either word? It’s kind of like they could be each other if they wanted to be. Maybe that means they’re different but equal?

Of course their equal and marriage means the He & Her are the Marriage. But is the marriage equal to the other two family members? The answer of course is yes.

So how’s the marriage member working in your marriage? No quick answer? Then maybe you’d be well advised to get busy and make it so, before I want out, knocks on the door.

Not Sure Where to Start?

Stand close to each other and then imagine yourself a team called the marriage. Your job should you accept it (like in Mission Impossible) will to first and for most pledge your un dying love to each other and never allow that bridge to be dismantled until death reaches one or both of you.

During your reign of love you will always remind yourself of the three components that make your marriage work. And like breathing every day you will hug, kiss and constantly show affection to each other.

If you cant make and keep the pledge then love is not the magic you feel for each other and getting married will not give you a marriage partner equal to he and her in a true marriage relationship.

It has been my observation that love finds couples when love becomes important to them. Maybe just maybe love is made by two hearts that learn the true value of love. So extend the hand of love to the one your with and see if that love returns their love back to you.

Maybe Love Creates Love?

Maybe I’m just blowing smoke and place too much faith in love? No I’m sure I’m dead wrong about many things but this thought is not one of them. I say this because the day I put my faith in love was the day that love embraced me and has never stop holding me since.

So all other approaches to life have left you still wanting maybe putting your faith in love will give you the kind of love that makes my life the best that it can be.

Today candidates are seeking my vote and I vote for love.


Don L. Terrill

photo by kumon

Thursday

Matching Rings Require Faith





Love Rules My Thinking


I personally don't have a particular religion that I connect with. But I do have faith and my faith is a belief in love. For me God is love, so I live by love. One day while walking around a small lake that was incorporated into huge total park area. Which included rental paddle boats, swings, slides, benches and picnic tables. And there is a walk way all around the lake. And its measured by certain markings that tell you how far you have walked. During one of these walks early in the morning and it was a beautiful day. I asked God what I needed to do to get in heaven? Out of my mouth came six thoughts.

1. Love is God
2. Be yourself
3. Be open minded
4. Believe all things are possible
5. Seek knowledge
6. Share knowledge

This Really Happened Believe It or Not

When I asked God the question what do I need to do to get into Heaven? For a time I just was amazed how instantly the words left my mouth without even thinking about it. And when I said it, I didn’t really think it was a message from the Holly Ghost; but as time progressed I started to believe that I made a connection by asking the question and the message was passed thru me via my voice.

These Words Guide Me

Then I came to my senses and just figured it was a good guess on my part and that was that. Then as the months passed I started to think this is a good way to live and even if it isn't real it sure sounds like a good way to live your life.

Thoughts That Came to Me

So I started to think about the words and then visions of understanding came to me and I started to understand how the after life really worked. Apparently if my visions are correct love is the means by which we transfer to our life after death. If you live a life of a loving person and you believe that God is love; the love will sustain you when you die and you will be delivered to a new location in the universe where love prevails and so will you as long as you believe in love. According to my visions love saturates everything in the universe, so when you stop breathing and you believe in love you will continue to exist. You will still have your same form, but one huge thing will be different. Now you will have the knowledge of the universe and know everything that is knowable. And you will instantly understand the part you play and all that you can now do. You will have the ability to any where in the blink of an eye.

You Can Live the Life You Want

How you chose to live will be entirely up to you. For example you could create your friends and family and the would be as real as you; or you could join others like yourself and live that way. Yes you are now God like but there is one condition you must always met to remain in your present state of being. Should you for any reason decide to change your thinking about love and start to plot a way to be the number one God. When you start developing these thoughts you will start drifting away from love and remember love is what sustains you. If you persist on taking this path your abilities as a God person will start to stop working and you will slowly experience your body fading and in a short time you will no longer exist and fade away. This is the universes way of protecting its self and never letting anyone to use evil as a way of living.

Faith Helps Connect Souls

I think till time ends, there will always be talk about religion and how it really works. But I'm sure we can all agree on this, that Religion plays a huge part in bringing Lovers together and that's a Good Thing.

This concludes what my visions showed me. Whether its true or false you be the judge of that. I think it is a good way to live and that’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by Jeff Belmonte

Monday

Touching Creates A Warmer Marriage




Touching is Required in a Good Marriage



A good marriage always involves the touching of each other. Why? Because that’s the way people say your special to me.

Touching Should be a Natural Part of your Daily Routine.

Today before starting to write this article I sat in my favorite recliner and noted on a piece of paper how many times I normally touch my wife in a days time. I counted to twenty and decided that was enough proof to prove my theory.

Now I don’t know the circumstances of your upbringing. Me I was short of a Mother & Father for the better part of my growing years. So I didn’t have the learning skills and knowledge about hugging & etc.

My Sons Taught Me the Art of Hugging


My first marriage gave me two sons and they taught me the true art of hugging and being hugged. We did a lot of that hugging watching creature features on tv. This show came on Saturday nights. We all sat in the same chair and when the mummy rose up out of the coffin my sons hugged me even more.

Hugs also provide good feelings when there remembered. I’m sure like me you have your special remembering that involved touching and its makes you feel good when the thought crosses your mind.

Is your marriage partner special to you? And would you like to be hugged more? If your response is yes then may I suggest a change in your routine? Go to your spouse; hold their hand for a moment and then just smile. Then just continue what you normally do. Later maybe stand in front of them and then just hug them, smile and then resume what you were doing.

Now I’m know rocket scientist but Ill bet this new you will change how your spouse responds to you. And then maybe you’ll find yourselves sitting on the sofa and watching your special program while enjoying the warmth of being close to each other. Sounds like a better marriage to me.


Don L. Terrill

Picture by kalandrakas (on vacation)

Sunday

Don't Let Your Dreams Influence Your Relationship




I Didn't Like the Feeling

For years I had this same dream every once in awhile. At first it was hard to recreate when I was awake. But it's main theme had me kind of lost and I didn't know where to go. I was wondering around trying to find something or someone. And it was kind of scary when I woke up.

Our Dreams Influence Our Behavior

I especially didn't recognize the location of the dream no matter how I tried to remember in the morning. The fact that the dream was a little vague and the people didn't seem to be familiar made it even worse.


It Was Like Having A Monkey on My Back


I Finally decided to see a head doctor who was recommended to me by my family doctor. The doctor was from Ethiopia and was getting his training here with a doctor certified with all the right credential. He told me his name which I couldn't repeat and he suggested I call him Sam like his other patients did.

Sam Found the Dream in My Thinking

So Sam and I sat down and I talked about my life and then about this dream that's been bothering me since I could remember. I talked and he listened and every once in awhile he hit a nerve and sometimes tears came to my eyes and at my worse I couldn’t even talk. He would patiently wait while I recovered myself and then my journey of talking would continue.

My Dreams were a Desire to Be Loved and Wanted

After five meetings he said its my turn to talk and your turn to listen. He started with my childhood and finished talking in one half hour and he hit on all the hot points in my life. He said that the root of my problem was my childhood. He said you literally had no one to supervise you and give you the personal one and one that we all need to grown up and feel ok about ourselves. He told me I was trying to find my Mother and Father and because neither of them were available to me and I had no replacements I just wondered in my dreams and tried to find them.

That was Then and this is Now

He told me when I was young I had the understanding of a child and now I'm an adult and I can now handle the situation better because I'm older and wiser to what went on. He said lets talk about it in depth at our next meeting. When did and in simple terms he said that was then and this is now. You did then the best that you could with the ability of understanding you had. He says now your older and you can process the stuff easier and then move on with your life. We had two more meetings and we talked thru everything and the dreams have never come back.

Bad Dreams Will Hurt Your Marriage

Dr Sam who I would highly recommend is now back home in his country of origin and Ill bet he's helping everyone he can. Thanks Dr. Sam I am forever grateful for your insight into my life and thanks again for fixing my dream. If your having situations in your life, find a doctor that works for you and talk till the problem and solution is discovered.That's how I feel and sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by Michael (mx5tx)

Saturday

A Good Marriage Requires Talking




We Didn't Do Enough Up Front Talking Before Saying I Do

It’s not necessarily what you say, it’s whether your talking at all. I think the number one thing to do before getting married is taking a course in communication. If you don't talk you wont resolve issues in your relationship. I look back on my first marriage and there wasn’t much talking going on. And I'm not exactly sure why that didn’t happen. Could be we didn’t really know each other like we should have, before we took the big step. I have a slight feeling that getting together for us, was for reasons not necessarily for all the right reasons

We Finding Stopped Talking

I think in many ways we weren’t mature enough to handle the togetherness and then rather then waiting till we were older we started having a family and that was more learning and we had not solved the first phase of just being coupled up. I wanted it to work and in my soul of souls and I think so did she. But we were still young still learning and we didn't have the skills of time to show us the right things to do. So talking to each other slowly came to a stand still and each of us just hurt and then the door of opportunity shut and it never opened again. She occupies a special place in my world of information and all the words spoken in anger don't even rate an audience in the scheme of my thinking today. That was then and this is now and I'm sure were both smarter for the experience of our learning.

Today Clarification is Our Up Front Thinking

Today I have totally consumed the art of communication. Every faulty word, phrase or thought is quickly clarified so that no mountains are created out of an ant hill. If I’m wrong I say it, mean it and make sure the love of my life receives it. Then I just give her space to assimilate and then the flag of okness is raised and I know all is well again. It doesn't happen often, but being human we even with the the best of intentions step in the smelly stuff and need to clean the bottom of our shoes.

Don't Start Fires You Cant Put Out

I sometimes think of all the people who stop talking to each other and then start fires burning that they can't seem to put out. And everyday the fires gets bigger and bigger and then they loose sight of what brought them together and how wonderful and incredible all those feelings felt like. And then we create a new us and that’s the new person who their children learn from and then a new generation of wrong thinking is generated and so the journey goes and it all started with one little fire that could have been easily extinguished with the words and thoughts that said, I'm sorry and I love you.

Love Will Be Your Reward Loving Each Other

In the learning stages of getting together care is required and love should rule every situation. If your following this thinking of love; words and patience you'll find your place in the field of love and not want for anything better because that is the gold at the end of the rainbow. That’s my feeling and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by 's photos">

Wednesday

Love Is the Secret to a loving Marriage




So What Are You Attracting?

Yesterday I viewed a DVD which you can acquire by going to TheSecret.Com. Its put together by a gathering of successful people who have the dreams and wants of there life by understanding and using a very simple method. The believe that we are all connected to the natural force of the Universe which like the Genie in the bottle will produce what ever you need and want. Imagine for a moment that you found the Genies container and you rubbed it and the Genie appeared and said your wish is my command. And imagine that you can wish forever and whatever you want will come true. These successful people believe that the universe works like the Genie does. If you think in a certain way that’s the way things will materialize in your life. So your life will be determined by what you are thinking. There thinking refers to the power of attraction. In others words you attract to yourself by what your thinking. If a headache is on your mind then more then likely your going to get it and so the theory goes. You attract what you think. So hows your thinking going?

Love is Real So Dream On

I see my marriage as my greatest accomplishment and the wisest thing I have ever done in my life. Finding the right person for me has been a mind altering experience. I get up and go to bed with one simple thought on my mind and that is, that I’m the luckiest person in the world. Every day is brand new day again and what I feel for her seems to show a new level of understanding and appreciation for each other.

Believe in Love & Love Will Find You

If your still looking for the love of your life, maybe a new way of thinking will help you make the connection. Keep the word love in your current thinking and then pay attention to how you feel when your around people. When love finds love there's an incredible feeling of good that occurs and then you'll know what Im talking about. But and there is always a but, bad thinking interferes with this love connection, so if your in that state of mind that the love stuff will not work for you. So if your thinking bad thinking like Im never going to find the right person for me. This is bad thinking. Just once in awhile think of the word love and it will attract love to you. When you get that over whelming feeling you’ve never felt before. Stop pay attention to whose in your company and just talk. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by krisdecurtis

Saturday

Bad Language is a Marriage Killer




The Wrong Words Can Kill a Marriage


One time time while enjoying friends on our back patio, we couldn’t help but hear the confrontation between our back yard neighbor and his wife. He swore like a sailor, just in port for the weekend. If I talked to my wife like that, which I never would. If I did I would find my bags on the front porch and the locks would have been changed. I don't know why people act that way to people they supposedly love. I guess its bad enough in the privacy of your home but a real killer is in front of people you know. That really has to hurt right to the core of the person receiving it.

Learn and Don't Use Again

I personally don't spread those words and don't like to be in the company of those who do. One time I used the phrase you bellowed? and that bothered my wife, I don't know why and I don’t care; but I did learn a lesson and never used it again. Who knows what occurrences your spouse has experienced in their life and what’s influencing there behavior now. But I’m smart I learn what not to do and it only takes a moment of good thinking to avoid a possible unhealthy situation. It’s like we all kick a breaker off from time to time and it only takes a push of the switch to make things right. I love my life partner and enjoy what we have together. I know she makes adjustments for my oddities and isn't that what someone should do when they love you? If your partner or you aren’t extending those kinds of consideration for each other maybe talking to each other and assistance from those head thinkers might be in order.

Bad Words Are Saying I Don't Love You

We all have a dysfunctional moment and say disgusting words that we don't mean; but once said, there hard to let go of by the one receiving them. The best habit is to not use them know matter what situation you are currently in. If you use special words for when your with the boys or girls those unfortunate words have a tendency to enter the no trespassing zones. And yes you don't mean it, but its been received and the receiver has a hard time getting rid of it. It’s like you violate a special agreement you have with each other and sometimes that little stuff will be the one that breaks the camels back and you'll end up walking the street holding your own hand so to speak.

Be Smart & Avoid the Bad Words

It’s better to never use the words and that will eliminate one speed bump in the road. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by grenade