Tuesday

Marriage is a Binding Contract




Marriage is a Legal Contract

Marriage is a contract between two people that binds them in a legal way that is determined by the state that your are married in. And even thought you may make verbal commitments to each other those words are not part of the legal document you will sign after all the words are spoken and agreed to. And people get married for all kinds of reasons and most of them in my thinking are for other reasons other then for being in love. Now don't jump to conclusions and think this is shallow thinking on my part and I don't know what Im talking about. Well guess what I do and Im going to now explain my thinking on this subject. True love for most people is something they have never experienced or viewed via some other couple. And the reason for this is because true love would require God like powers and that thinking isn't available on earth at least not yet. So the best that we can do is, is to do our best and hope for the best. But be sincere to yourself about how you feel and that will go along way in making your marriage a good and wonderful thing to be part of.

When You Say I Do Mean It

So when you say or hear I do remember there just words and not a promise from God that all will be well with you. If you and your spouse survive it will be because you want it to and you put all your effort to it.

The Marriage Contract Never Changes But You Will & Thats Good

The marriage document will not change but you will and thats the trick to a happy life together. Always change something that doesn't work to something that does. There's a billion ways to do one thing. If something isn't working find something else that will and then take pride in being so smart and watch others never changing and always being on the edge of falling off the cliff. You will find cliffs everywhere in life and thru your entire life. But don,t worry about it because that is the way life is. Just become a person who realizes that life will always show up with issues and then you have the choice to do something or just let it be and see what happens. I personally find the best choice is to give the issues a great deal out of the box thinking and then just wait for your mind to find the answer and as of today that process of doing is working great for me. That doing nothing stuff leaves too many things to chance and chance sucks when its not working for you. Figure things out in advance and then act according. You'll find that process will serve you well. If it doesn't you can always jump ship and find someone else and then start the process over again with a new person and that will probably cause more problems then it will solve.

Starting Over Isn't Always the Answer

I am of the opinion after many years of experience that working with what you have is a better choice then going back to ground zero. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by kumon

Saturday

The The Marriage Contract is Fragile So Be Gentle with It




Marriage is a Legal Contract

Marriage is a contract between two people that binds them in a legal way that is determined by the state that your are married in. And even thought you may make verbal commitments to each other those words are not part of the legal document you will sign after all the words are spoken and agreed to. And people get married for all kinds of reasons and most of them in my thinking are for other reasons other then for being in love. Now don't jump to conclusions and think this is shallow thinking on my part and I don't know what Im talking about. Well guess what I do and Im going to now explain my thinking on this subject. True love for most people is something they have never experienced or viewed via some other couple. And the reason for this is because true love would require God like powers and that thinking isn't available on earth at least not yet. So the best that we can do is, is to do our best and hope for the best. But be sincere to yourself about how you feel and that will go along way in making your marriage a good and wonderful thing to be part of.

When You Say I Do Mean It

So when you say or hear I do remember there just words and not a promise from God that all will be well with you. If you and your spouse survive it will be because you want it to and you put all your effort to it.

The Marriage Contract Never Changes But You Will & Thats Good

The marriage document will not change but you will and thats the trick to a happy life together. Always change something that doesn't work to something that does. There's a billion ways to do one thing. If something isn't working find something else that will and then take pride in being so smart and watch others never changing and always being on the edge of falling off the cliff. You will find cliffs everywhere in life and thru your entire life. But don,t worry about it because that is the way life is. Just become a person who realizes that life will always show up with issues and then you have the choice to do something or just let it be and see what happens. I personally find the best choice is to give the issues a great deal out of the box thinking and then just wait for your mind to find the answer and as of today that process of doing is working great for me. That doing nothing stuff leaves too many things to chance and chance sucks when its not working for you. Figure things out in advance and then act according. You'll find that process will serve you well. If it doesn't you can always jump ship and find someone else and then start the process over again with a new person and that will probably cause more problems then it will solve.

Starting Over Isn't Always the Answer

I am of the opinion after many years of experience that working with what you have is a better choice then going back to ground zero. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by kumon

Thursday

Find Solutions Rather then Attacking




Stop Attacking Each Other

I could have easily used this bit of wisdom during my first marriage. We stopped trying to fix the problem and just attacked each other. So instead of seeing the problem for what it was, we focused all our hurt at each other and slowly lost sight of what the problem was even all about. And then it was all down hill from there.

Divorce is Too Easy To Say

And the problem wasn't just unique to us. It seemed like everyone we knew were all facing the same situation and just blaming each other rather then seeing the problem and finding solutions. Today were a society that yells the word divorce first and never looks to the options that are all around them and anyone of them may prove to solve their situation.

Hindsight is Always Easier to See

I’m forever sorry for the divorce my boys had to experience, but hindsight is always more understandable then facing the facts at that time. In my today thinking I would be really looking at what really is going on and not focusing on each other. Maybe if both of us would have stopped looking at each other and thought about how things were with us and maybe with all options on the table we would be enjoying our grand children today. But most maybes are like snow flakes in the summer time they just don't last long enough for our thoughts to get the point.

Understand Your Options

Think of all the time, money and heartache that could be avoided by just taking the time to understand all the options and stop blaming each other and say Im sorry and lets use all are might to make our dreams to come true.


Parents Should Act Like Parents


And just think how much better that would be for the children when the parents stop being the children and act like parents and really see the joy in staying together and loving each other. And most of all stop putting the blame on each other and just fix the problem thru good thinking and positive thoughts. And then smiles would prevail and hugs would be the order of the day. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by irito_run

Tuesday

Hypnosis a Good Friend to Marriage




Hypnosis Helps Many Smokers

While in my senior year of high school I had the special opportunity to meet a gentlemen who helped people stop bad habits by using hypnosis on them. He stopped a friend of mine from smoking and even today he still is off the cigarettes. His name was John Melts and he worked out of a small office in his house. Most of his clients were referred to him by people in the medical profession since he was a medical doctor himself and hypnosis was a side line business for him.

My First Self Hypnosis Lesson

I called him and made a appointment for the sole purpose of learning how to do self hypnosis on myself. At our first meeting he suggested we start by first letting him put me in a suggestive state and then he would give me suggestions that by following a certain routine I would be able to self induce hypnosis to myself. He suggested I see him once weekly for four weeks. He gave me a written dialog that I would following to achieve a state of mind that would likely help me make suggestions to myself that would help me improve the quality of my life. After four treatments the doctor said that he had done all that he could do and the rest of my success would require further practice and in time I would reap the benefits of making suggestions to myself.

Forty Five Years Ago

That learning was forty five years ago and it still works like a charm today. From time to time I find myself slacking off and loosing the benefits of self hypnosis.


Its Like Ridding a Bike, Its Easy to ReLearn


I retired when I was sixty two and found myself with too much time on my hands and started writing articles for a publishing company my son operates. At first the writing came hard and the articles were hard to produce on a regular basis. But the I remembered the self hypnosis that I used to do and remembered how much it helped me solve problems and things I needed to get done. It took me about three weeks to get that state of mind back, but when I did boy did it do the trick for me. With out hypnosis I was at best cranking out one article every two or three days. Now energized I've done as many as six in one morning of time.

Heres how it works for me and maybe it will help you deal with some of your issues.

First find a quiet place and a comfortable recliner. Turn the lights off and close the drapes. Now lay still and breath in and slowly let the air out three times. Now just relax for a minute or two. Now with your eyes closed speak to yourself in a low voice or just in your mind which ever works out best for you. And here's what I say to myself. I'm going deep deep asleep and Ill say this four of five times. Then I say I'm going to count from one to ten and when I reach ten I'm going to be in a deep sleep. Then I just lay there for a few minutes and then I make suggestions to myself. Like I'm the greatest writer in the world and when I awake new article ideas will come to me. And I make this statement maybe six times and then I go on to something else.


Hang in There it Really Works


If your persistent and follow the process’ things will improve in your life. It works for me and I’m sure it will work for you. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking by it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by magnetbox

Friday

Find the Life Style that Works for You




One Attraction Shouldn't Make a Relationship

People meet and like something about each other and then they develop a relationship. But what they don't know is what kind of connection do they have and how well is it going to stand up to the test of time. If there pretty much alone they may find that a good thing and it works well for them because they don't know any difference. And if they never move or change some of their routine they will not interact with different people and discover that there are indeed different ways to live together. If you only learn one way, then you will not miss something that you see other people doing like for example, ridding a bike, rowing a boat or just watching tv. Today of course we think of ourselves as being worldly and we think we know pretty much what is going on in the world. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

You Should Observe many Life Styles Before finding one that Works for You

You can live right next to someone and not know anything about them or what their life style is. So the trick to having the lifestyle that works for you requires that you experience all the kinds of ways that people can live their life. Then if your open minded and honest with yourself and have the self will to live the way you want to; then and only then will you truly find your place in the scheme of things. Limiting yourself the choices that are available to you will lessen your ability to find yourself and fill the space you want to fill.

Your Life Style is you, So Be Yourself

You should never let someone else chose the lifestyle you want for yourself. If what you want doesn't jell with your partner move on and find a companion that works for you. If you don't you'll never find yourself and that will be the greatest loss in your life.

Love and Life Style Should go Hand in Hand

I in my younger years used to think that love was the only life style and without it you had know life at all. Today even thought love is still my primary thinking, but I now value all living styles as long as love is one of the forces that hold them together. There are thousands of ways and reasons to share your life with someone else. I think that God judges us by the value of our love and not by how we live are life. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by *Savaman*

Saturday

An Open Mind is Good for a Marriage




The Brain is Awesome Don't Limit It

Your mind contrary to what you might believe has this incredible ability to achieve anything you want it to. The only person standing in your way is yourself. So here's the trick just ask your mind to do things for you and expect it to get done. Of course there is just one tiny glitch you must over come. Don't censor yourself. Its kind of like driving down the street and you want to go that way but your mind says, but that’s a one way street and you accept that thought and you don’t go that way. Or you want to park at a certain place but the sign says no parking allowed. Or you watch the weather report and it predicts a cold snowy day and then the weather gurus say stay inside and will tell you when its safe to go outside. And so the story goes and you can’t seem to get to where you want to be, because all the signs and voices saying stand still it’s the safest place for you.

My Mind Lets Me Fly

When I was a young man I used to dream that I could fly and it was as real as life could be. When were all brand new and the doctor spanks life into our lungs we breath and then were off and running. But no one will tell us we can fly we must learn that for ourselves. I really enjoyed startreck when it first came on the tv. They would go where no man has ever gone before and there objective was to find new life forms and learn from them. And this is what we should do to. Who knows what were capable of doing or becoming? The choice is ours and the limits are set by us and we can always change them.

Thought Makes All Things Possible

One of our greatest gifts is the ability of thought. We have thoughts we can do anything and be anything. The world doesn’t set the rules by which you should live you do. If you don’t like the way your going you can change your thoughts and start anew again, until you find the right way for you.

Let Your Mind be Free

Your thoughts are your thoughts and you have total ownership over them. You can take them like a bunch of clay and make anything you want. And how other people feel about them should have no bearing on how you feel. You are the creator and you were created by the creator, so what better reason for being your own person and doing it your way. After all your ability to think thoughts was given to you by the creator of the universe and thoughts will cure and fix the world. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.

So free your mind and let it dream and that will greatly improve the quality of your marriage.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by aigarius