A happy Marriage Requires Restraint

Restraint In Communication is Vital

If a couple exchanges rings, vows and promises to love till death, then the number one rule of engagement is restraint. Nothing in my thinking is more important in the human equation is the relationship between husband and wife. Maybe one could go so far as to say that the very fiber of the children produced will be determined by how each party shows restraint in communication with each other especially in the presence of their off spring.

Parents must find Better Ways to Communicate

I’m sure currently married people and even those who presently are separated or divorced can easily equate to the need to find a better way to communicate with the loves of there life or used to love. Love is a powerful together word that when used helps people who love each other to cling tighter and hold on harder to the fiber of their love for each other and say to themselves I will never let go of this love I share with the love of my life. But the books and voices of those who have failed in this great battle of wellness will in large numbers step forward and gladly admit the failure of their ability to use restraint to do everything they could to keep the connection of their love together.

A Ten Second Rule Might be Appropriate

Hindsight is always better then fore sight and its easy address are failures and say we will do better in the future. If this were true divorces would be going down rather then up. So we who profess love and fail must learn the fine art of restraint and use it regularly and wisely when dealing with each other. Maybe a ten second rule should apply until the issue passes and clearer heads prevail. So if you don’t want to regret what you say, then don’t say it. How hard cant that be? It’s far better to be ok then to engage just to further a thought that hasn’t been thought out very well.

Regret Your Words?

Have you ever thought about the word restraint and what it means? It means to step back and consider more about what your going to say or do. Think of all the times you showed no care about the other person well being and you forged ahead only to regret your words and the way you presented them. Imagine how life may have work out if restraint became the law of the land and all issues required it us before moving forward on any situation confronting us? I think the world would have found a friend and that friend first name would have been restraint.

Children Must Learn the Value of Restraint and Practice its use

I think we should raise are children with understanding of the word restraint and they should be required to use it and learn the purpose of its use. And then maybe the halls of school would contain no children because they would be in the classrooms learning what they need to learn.

Restraint is a good word, please give it a try and see how it works for you. That’s how I feel and I m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by merfam