Marriage Secrets are best kept to a minimum if your hoping to make your marriage work.

Secrets are best handled, before Saying I Do

I dont believe in having secrets, but I’m not perfect and neither is anyone else. Of course I’m not including God in this equation. I think that even with the intentions of a saint no one can say there’s not something they’re holding back that would fall in the category of a secret. And maybe there’s some validity in the thinking that prior experiences are excluded from the marriage secret rule. Personally I think pre marriage discussions should by and large cover all areas that may adversely influence the person your placing your hearth with. It’s far better to deal with issues now and put them to rest rather then waiting till a secret is revealed and your partner is overwhelmed by the information.

When Rings are exchanged, Secrets shouldn't exist anymore

Before love partners exchange rings and say I do their minds are still open for discussion. But all bets are off when the preacher says I now pronounce you husband and wife. I’m of the option that when the ring goes on the finger then the person with the finger expects and deserves to be kept totally up to speed on all issues from this moment on. Also fairly or unfairly previous information will be judged by the ring holder and not the person they were prior to the I dos.

To Trust doesn't mean don't Ask

I know that with love comes trust but that doesn’t mean you should be stupid and not ask any questions prior to joining hands in holy matrimony. I truly believe that most people live on the right side of the truth, but there are some who lie and they believe what their saying. They have lied so long that the lie is now the truth. The truth of this behavior definitely needs to see the light of day so the other half of the relationship can clearly decide whether this is the person they want to spend the rest of their life with.

Life is a Learning Experience

I think we all know what should be spoken of and what should be left to the past. Just because your love doesn’t share everything with you doesn’t mean that their being deceptive or don’t love you enough. Some points of information have absolutely nothing to do with love that two people share between each other. We all in the growing up phase of our life have dreaded on issues that are best left alone because we all have information that we cant explain why we did certain things. Life is a learning process and sometimes we do unwise things but we learn and never do them again. As I’ve said life is a learning process and know one is without error from time to time. So maybe there’s good thinking in what the bible says. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. No one can throw the stone and we all know it.

Some Secrets are best kept Secret and both parties should reallize that

I think both parties of the marriage must realize by recognition from each other that each have their own and that’s where they’re going to stay. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by SideLong