Marriage is Better Served When Rest is Acheived

Sleep Better

All of us at sometime or another find sleeping a tad hard to make happen in our life. And I have a hunch its mostly about whats going on just prior to going to rest for the night. The mind is just like a sponge and whats going on around you just prior to hitting the pillow is sometimes bother some stuff and it decides to replay pictures to us and restrict our sleep or lets us sleep and then replays the stuff back to us when our eyes are closed.

An All Night Movie

And the more we dream the more we will dream and its all about the brain learning to do something. The mind is like an all night movie house it capable of showing movies till the sun comes up in the morning.

A Short Movie

Also I think that we think our bothersome movies are bothering us all night when in reality its only a short skit and to us, but we feel it went all night. Either way it’s disturbing to us and should be avoided if at all possible.

Stop Watching TV Prior to Hitting the Sack

I have found in my life that stopping watching tv a half hour before hitting the bed is a really helpful thing for me in stopping the dreams from bothering me at night. I in an effort to not have harmful dreams have gathered up numerous pictures on my computer and replay them just prior to hitting the pillow. And of course the pictures are all in some sort pleasing to me. Like for example the rising and closing of the sun.

Watch Happy Pictures

Your choice will know doubt be quire different then mine. And don’t worry if a computer is not available to you. A collection of pictures in album form will very nicely fulfill the desired affect for you. And don’t give up because it doesn’t work the first time. Changing the pictures in your mind may take more then one presentation. Remember happiness is more influential then unhappiness so just keep working at it. I’m sure like in my life the rewards you receive will greatly be appreciated by you.

Everything Requires Effort

Changing a process of the mind requires effort so hang in there till you get the results your looking for. And it doesn’t work for me all the time. But I can honestly say that my dreams are so much better today then they used to me. So practice does pay off. So picture on and sleep better. And don’t forget marriage works better when all parties sleep better at night.

Don L. Terrill

photo by


Soaps Share Secrets

Watch and Read Between the Lines

If you’re looking for marriage information watch the soaps. I first watched the soaps during my first marriage. I worked the second shift at a die cast company. My hours were from three to eleven. I can’t exactly remember which ones they were, but I was definitely hooked. Today my wife and I record two soaps and watch them latter in the evening. From eight till bedtime is our official time together. We watch and talk about things in our life. The soaps fill up the space between talking to each other. Sometimes the pace of these shows almost slows to a snails pace and that kind of tilts me in my chair, but it’s our time and that’s important to me. People who wish to grow together must constantly find time for each other and listen and share their thoughts. So the soaps help us keep that connection going.

listen & Watch

The soaps also serve another great purpose and that is to show the errors people make in their lives. And the soaps make the same mistake over and over again, so it’s not hard to make observations that will serve you for the rest of your life. And if you want to learn some of the pitfalls of marriage you will definitely want to watch the soaps and pay strict attention to what they do and not what they necessarily say. Getting married on the soaps doesn’t mean till death do us part. It means till the next warm body comes along.

No Locks

And here’s something that really bugs me about the soaps, nobody seems to lock his or her doors. And it seems like their all living together. And they all seem to have plenty of worldly goods. And one month you’re a student and the next month you’re a doctor is that profound or what.

How to Marry & Divorce in One Week

But all kidding aside the soups can be a useful learning tool in understanding the wrong things to do and they’re as clear as the sounds of a bell in the middle of the night. Remember when Paul Revere jumped his horse and rode through the town yelling the British are coming or how about when Wyatt Earp played by Kurt Russell when he got off the train and pointed his shot gun at the Clantons hired gun and said tell them I’m coming and hells coming with me. Today the soaps are yelling marriage first and divorce will follow.

Soaps Show the Wrong Path

So we can learn the right and wrong ways to approach marriage by watching the soaps and paying attention to the actors and the parts they play. Knowing the wrong path to follow is one way to finding the right path. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by Jon Evans


Our Baggage Approach

Baggage and How To Handle It

Both Linda my wife and I brought baggage with us when we got married. But unlike a lot of couples we decided from day one that my baggage was mine and hers was hers. Now that doesn’t mean we didn’t help each other, because we did. But here’s the big difference with us. We each had decided on the opt in and opt out program. Only if we wanted help did we help each other. For example, if I wanted to help her with something and she agreed to my help then help I did. But if she didn’t want it I stepped back and she handled it on her own. This is the way we both acted in our marriage and even today will still do the same thing, because it’s been so successful for us. Linda and I only helped each other when the other wanted the help. We treated our marriage as a neutral zone and didn’t allow the baggage to enter. Our joint baggage was never allowed to interfere our love for each other. She didn’t take my help for granted and neither did I.

Love Rules & Baggage Is Somewhere After That

During our journey as a married couple we have jointly and separately been challenged by many issues but none of these issues ever degraded the love we felt for each other, because we kept our baggage separate and that worked well for us.

Love Is Always Available If You Want It

I lost both my parents during our marriage and Linda was always one hundred percent there to help whenever I approached her for assistance. But I know it was a huge challenge for her to stand mute while I tried handling it in my own way, because I was trying to keep harmony in the family and even thought she knew my method wasn't going to work she still said nothing. And when I jeopardized my physical and mental health she reluctantly did step in and made her feelings known and that was from love and I needed to hear her thoughts to save myself from myself. In retrospect I wouldn’t have survived the path I was following without her intervention.

Our Love Agreement

People who we mingle with, frequently ask us why we don’t seem to have conflicts like they do? And we just shrug are shoulders and just say were married but handle things separately if we want to. They sometimes say I wish we could be like you two and handle things so well; you never seem to argue about anything. No we don’t rant and rave about things because we spent the time making an agreement of understanding and it is still as strong today as the day we signed on the dotted line. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by SqueakyMarmot


Signs That Your Marriage is Crumbling

Are You Feeling Alone Even When Your Together?

Are Special Days just like any other day?

Is your Spouse Spending more time with others then you?

Does Her Home Cooking taste more like something out of the Can?

Are you finding yourself being with your spouse and hardly do you talk anymore?

Is Your Toilet Paper Harsher then your Wifes?

Is the Couch their place of sleep now?

Is Sex a thing of the past?

When’s the last time the Love word left your lips?

Does Your Spouse leave the room when the phone rings?

Is Working late the norm now?

Has a Cell Phone but seldom answers?

If these kind of questions are finding space in your thinking? Now don’t get me wrong these questions aren’t by themselves indications that your marriage is hitting the rocks and you’re soon to be exited to living your life like when you were single. But they are definitely signs that the relationship you once cherished is now feeling the pressure to find wellness with others rather then with you. So smell the roses and maybe buy some roses and reverse the trend your togetherness is heading to.

Failure to Participate Will Kill Your Marriage

I believe the number one reason a marriage crumbles is because of the lack of attention applied to it. Every meaningful relationship is actively active at keeping the good feelings flowing in the right direction. So doing your maintenance is the number one thing people should do to keep the wellness working in their togetherness.

Always Communicate

Failure to keep the lines of communication going leads to the thinking that I’m not special and without special feelings expressed to each other, both start to look elsewhere and stop looking for it at home. Then the great feelings crumble and hearts are broken for all the wrong reasons. My thought whats yours?

Don L. Terrill

photo by Lazy_Lightning


Never Give Up Your Life to Give Someone Else Life

Giving Your Life To Help Doesnt Help

Its wonderful for married partners to care about each other and do those things that help each other. But there is a limit that one can do for another and that limit is when your life is in jeopardy because you’re doing certain things.

Tried & Died

One of my elk brothers who passed away two years ago who did so because he tried to do too much and in the process gave himself a heart attack. When couples love each other they don’t want to be burdened with the knowledge that their love died because they did more then they should have done to promote their wellness.

Even Love has Limits

But Richard loved his wife and that love drove him to do more then he should. His wife God rest her soul was a good person but had too much pride and because of that wanted help only from her husband. She had great difficulty getting around and thus needed assistance whenever she felt required to do something.

Tried One Too Many Times

But I find it hard to fault him because he was doing what love propelled him to do. I on rare occasions informed him to seek help by paying someone to be at her beckon call and Richard had the finances to make it happen. I suggested he hire a live in and thus take the pressure off himself. Three months after are last conversation Richard bent over and his loving heart gave out.

Limits Are Important

Now his love is living in an up scale retirement home and getting the help I suggested he get. But I find it hard to fault a person for loving someone too much because that’s how I feel about my love. Love I guess is a two sided sword, one side is love the other leads to faulty thinking. We all should know our limitations and that would make life better for us and the ones we love.

Give What You Can

Give but don’t give more then you can. Because I’m sure Richard left a blank spot in his wife’s heart.

Don L. Terrill

photo by MyLifeStory


Save a Marriage with Unconditional Love

Saving Marriages With Unconditional Love
By Amy Waterman

In the middle of a session the other day I had a powerful realization. I was asked to think of a relationship I had with something in the last week that in my mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal.

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, and it is the ultimate ego-boost for me when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an enthusiastic fashion. I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. I call this unconditional love.

So what is unconditional love?

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to "real" love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.

So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues rule our lives.

But if you are serious about saving your marriage you need to put the clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. And love will conquer them all.

Have a think about unconditional love and how you can apply this realization to your relationship.

More at: Save My Marriage Today


A Happy Marriage Requires Happy Feelings

I Don't Like Feeling Bad

I am a person who doesn’t like those feelings, I feel, when Linda My wife and I are having an issue about something. So my immediate desire is to make the uncomfortable feeling go away. Now if this feeling has been created by me and probably because of something I said, I am highly motivated to have Linda recognize I’m sorry and wish the whole issue to disappear. Sometimes crow eating is required, which I am sincere about and soon I receive the smile that indicates my parole has been granted. If the rolls are reversed I sense a pause in the conversation and then words are conveyed to me that were ok again. We both share a common interest in being ok with each other. I remember as a child I would once in awhile hear the saying never go to sleep before making up. We follow this thinking with one change’ we practice this thinking right when it happens and don’t wait till bedtime.

We Love Being OK With Each Other

I look forward to meeting with my male counter parts and enjoy the conversations we share together. I am amazed how many couples harbor bad feelings with each other and I can’t help but recognize how fortunate I am to be sharing my life with such a wonderful person; who like me understands the value of keeping are feelings ok between us.

Him, Hers and Theirs

Sam one of my club members is always eager to share his marital problems with me. I guess it's because I’m a good listener and it probable makes me feel good about how well I’m doing in my relationship in comparison to him. Here’s how complicated his married life is. One time he told me that seeing shrink doctors was costing him a bundle. He told me he and his wife had their own head doctor and then injected the information that they both jointly would see another fact finding doctor. That was a mind opening information for me. That confirmed my thinking that neither one of them are communicating well with each other. I would gladly share my success story but that would require listening and both of them would have to stop talking first and that at least from my vantage point never seems likely to happen. I extend my help by listening and hope they start paying attention to each other and listen more and talk less.

Where Theres Smoke Theres Fire

I don’t know everything, but I do know this. Keeping the fire of unhappiness going is a sure fire way to bring unhappiness in your marriage and give it a climate to perpetuate itself. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by merfam


10 Romantic Ideas

10 Romantic Ideas

by Michael Webb -

# 1 - If your partner is going away for a few days, tell her that you are worried about her so you have organized a bodyguard to look after her. Then give her a small teddy bear.

# 2 - Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as "I Love You" When the lights go down, your message will be revealed!

# 3 - On a special occasion, buy your partner eleven real red roses and one artificial red rose. Place the artificial rose in the center of the bouquet. Attach a card that says: “I will love you until the last rose fades.”

# 4 - Buy the domain name of your partner's name if it is available for example Create a web page containing a romantic poem and a picture of a rose. When your partner is surfing the web, casually ask whether she has ever checked to see whether her domain name is taken. Let her type it in to discover her page.

# 5 - Buy a stylish hand mirror and give it to your partner as a gift. Include a card in the box saying “In this mirror you will see the image of the most beautiful woman in the world.”

# 6 - Take a book that your partner is reading and using a pencil, underline letters in a section of the book she has yet to read to spell out a love letter. For example in the following exert from a novel, the underlined letters come together to spell out the secret message "I love you" The palace was a labyrinth, their passage through it tortuous and interminable. Initially they passed from building to building under the sodden sky. Steve's feet ached; he might have laughed at himself, the tireless traveler, grown too soft from his months in the city to walk any proper distance. Abruptly the guards halted. The underlined letters will make your partner curious and with a bit of luck she will write them down. Spend time to encode a proper message such as "Dear Belinda, I love you honey"

# 7 - Have flowers delivered to your partner's workplace. She will not only enjoy the flowers but will also receive comments and attention from her office mates which will add to her enjoyment.

# 8 - While walking with your partner on a weekend getaway, pick up a smooth stone and say that you're going to keep it as a special memento of your trip. Later, have a message such as "I Love Rebecca" engraved into the stone by a jeweler and give it to your partner.

# 9 - Drive into the country, find a grassy hill and lie with your partner and look up at the clouds. Play the kid’s game of looking for shapes in the cloud formations.

# 10 - Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write "I Love You" inside a heart. Next get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner's work such as:

For the immediate and urgent attention of:
Rebecca Jones
Level 20
Collins & Smith Solicitors
New York

Mail it to your partner so she receives it in the middle of a busy day.

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Always Side With Your life Companion

Requires Dedication

Marriage is from my perspective, one of the most difficult arrangements to deal with. Under the best of conditions it’s a thing that requires the patience of Jobe and the endurance of Superman.

It Produces the Best Benefits

But it’s the greatest experience that two loving companions can have. I every once in awhile stop and review my relationship with my wife and constantly marvel at the joy that this relationship gives to me. Especially when I pay attention to the relationships that go on around me. And one big mistake people make is they don’t side with their love when shove comes to push.

Its Better to Sink Rather Then Lose

Whether your partner is right or wrong your love extends to her or him the support that says your right and Ill be at your side whether you are right or wrong. From my perspective its better to go down with the ship rather then being in opposition to the one you love.

Told Me I Was Wrong In Private

Recently while enjoying the company of a group of friends I unknowingly said something that was untrue, but at the time I thought it was correct. My lovely wife knew I was wrong but still backed me up with your right and their wrong. When we got home and in the privacy of our home she timidly explained my error in thinking. I without thinking said why didn’t you point that out? Dumb question on my part because I would have done the same thing for her. Love protects love, because that’s the way love works. It may on the surface seem totally wrong to some but experience has taught me that loyalty to your companion allows this exception to the rule that you should always correct someone when they miss speak.

Back Ups Are Required

So if your looking for all the benefits that a good marriage produces, you must on occasion back up the one you love. That’s how I feel about love and I’m an expert on the subject.

Don L. Terrill

photo by foshie


Can a Marriage Separation Help?

Can a Marriage Separation Ever Save a Marriage?

by Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.

As an experienced counselor, one of the questions I’m asked frequently is, “Can a marriage separation ever save a marital relationship?” My answer is a qualified “yes.”

Sometimes a couple is miserable living together and can’t seem to co-exist without having constant harping and bickering. If they have children, they may worry about the impact on them of all the fighting. Each spouse wants the marriage to work and is willing to work on the problems and issues in marriage counseling while they’re separated.

Couples in this situation often plan to use the separation period to “let the dust settle,” reflect on the marriage, take responsibility for their share of what has happened, and work on individual and joint issues in counseling. One goal is for the spouses to use their problem-solving skills in counseling to address and resolve the most serious problems before moving back together. Both spouses agree not to date anyone else and to focus exclusively on working to improve the marriage.

For these couples, the marriage separation can be a time to think, to reflect, to analyze, to cool off and calm down, and to take a break from each other. It also provides time and space for each spouse to make unhurried, thoughtful decisions instead of waiting for things to blow up and then impulsively leaving. Used in this way, a planned separation can actually help to save a marriage.

In other cases, one spouse or the other may move out on the spur of the moment after an upsetting argument. The separation is unplanned, and there are no plans for marriage counseling, no guidelines agreed upon about seeing others, and no tentative time-line for the separation.

There is usually much anxiety on the part of the partner who has been left unexpectedly and there are many unanswered questions: What is happening? Will the partner file for divorce? Will the marriage survive? Whether the separation will help or hurt the marriage is unknown in this case. Things could go either way, depending on what happens.

Another situation that can result in separation is when a spouse is living in an intolerable situation in the marriage. Perhaps the partner is verbally abusive, chronically runs around, or shows continual disrespect towards his or her spouse in some other way. The spouse may have tried to get the partner to go to counseling, but the partner always refused.

Sometimes the best thing the spouse can do is to decide to separate and hope that the partner will be shocked enough by the unexpected action to finally agree to work on the marriage. In situations like this, a separation can sometimes save the marriage.

The partner often says, “I knew we had some problems, but I didn’t think they were that serious. I never thought she (or he) would really leave. She kept telling me, but I didn’t believe her.” The spouse then has to stand firm and let the partner know that she is going to live separately because “I refuse to be in a marriage where I’m treated like this. I deserve more.”

By not rushing to file for divorce, the spouse finds out during the planned separation if the partner is finally motivated enough to enter counseling and work on changing. If the couple enters counseling, the therapist will then be able to give them a recommendation about when they are ready to live together again, if ever.

Of course, there are no guarantees in a marriage separation. The separation might be instrumental in saving the marriage, or it may widen the gap between the two spouses and eventually lead to divorce. A planned separation is always preferable to an impulsive one.

The following five tips can help you if you need to think about separating from your spouse:
  1. Talk with your spouse about what your individual goals are for the separation. Are they the same or different?
  2. Try to reach agreement that neither of you will date anyone else during this period of time. If your marriage is going to have the best chance possible, you’ll want to agree not to have sexual entanglements with others so you can continue to work on your relationship.
  3. Set a tentative time period for the separation, such as three months. At the end of that time, you can both re-evaluate the decision in terms of what’s best for each of you.
  4. Agree to seek individual and joint counseling during the separation to address the key problems and issues that have caused conflict in the marriage. This is an ideal time to do some deep individual work on your own personal issues as well as to address core relationship issues.
  5. Set guidelines that you both agree to about how much contact you’ll have during the separation and what kind of contact it will be. It doesn’t do any good to have a separation if one spouse or the other is calling on the phone every five minutes and constantly wanting to talk more about the problems. The separation is supposed to reduce conflict and give each person some space and relief from constant pressure and arguments.
More at: Keep Your Marriage


Marriage & Jealousy Don't Mix

Sent Him to the Hospital

While working at the Nuclear Plant many years ago I meet a gentlemen by the name of mike, who had just received a divorce and was still feeling the hot breath of his ex wife on the back of his neck. Mike was a soft speaking person and didn’t seem to have enough bad feelings in him to even swat a fly. But according to the people that knew him, said he should have come to his senses a whole lot sooner then he did. Mike was pretty much tight lipped about talking about her, but every once in awhile he couldn’t help but spill his guts and tell me how harmful and almost deadly to him she was. She once hit him on the back of the head with a baseball bat, which required an ambulance ride to the hospital and numerous stitches to repair the damage. But even then he wouldn’t confess her guilt and told the cops some stranger hit him as he was going down the stairwell from his apartment, which he was trying to move out of.

Still Kept Calling

Even after their divorce she would still call him and the rest of us to find out what he was doing and who he was seeing.

Grabbed the Mony and Ran

Mike made one huge mistake and forgot to take her off his banking stuff. Shortly after their divorce she with drew all the money from his checking and saving account. Because the divorce was final and none of the money was hers the judge ordered her to jail on weekends and forced her to repay the money back to him.

Knew What He Was Getting

Here’s the real tragedy of this story. According to Mike’s best friend, Mike knew how she was before he married her. At first Mike viewed her jealousy as a sign that she really loved him and that irrational thinking worked for him because he came from a broken home where his mother constantly called him stupid and blamed him for his Father leaving her.

Jealousy Can Kill

Mike like many people don’t see the wrecking ball that’s about to hit them. So if your future partner is demonstrating this behavior, you might be well advised to grab your stuff and exit stage left. Jealousy should never be viewed as a harmless emotion. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
A Marriage Guru

photo by Uncle Ariel


Marriage Communication Breakdown

Marriage Communication Breakdown
By Amy Waterman

It happens to the best of us. Communication is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when feelings are involved. Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues.

This happened to me on the weekend, and until to be quite honest, it took me by surprise. Even those of us who are better equipped than many others are not immune. My partner told me something that really hurt my feelings, and I lashed back in defense. It was a silly argument, over something as simple as a misplaced bottle of aftershave. But to me, it represented something much deeper, that had been simmering away for a couple of weeks. I get frustrated at having to search for something when it is not where I expect it to be. Worse still when my partner has shifted it and I don’t know the first place to begin searching.

Aftershave, needles and thread, car keys, a Tupperware container to store my baking soda in, covers for our outdoor chairs, all were examples of instances where I had to turn the house upside-down. A simple answer from my partner when these things were shifted would have saved me a lot of time and frustration. And the answer I got? "You need to open your eyes and organize yourself better"

I was gutted. When I come home from work I exercise the dog and cook dinner so that it is on the table by the time my partner gets home. The house is always spotless and warm, as I’m very conscious of coming home to a tidy environment. I see this as a fundamental part of my role in coming home first, and it takes a lot of my time. To imply that I have the time to "organize yourself better" really hurt.

I don’t expect praise, but I did hope that my efforts were recognized. I got told that "I don’t expect you to cook my dinner every night" was interpreted by me as ingratitude, and hurt me even more.

So where to from here? My partner felt guilty at coming home every night to the perfect household, whereas I felt guilty if it wasn’t perfect. It was never about me trying to make him feel guilty, but it seems it did. And this is where the communication fell down. He misinterpreted my efforts, and I misinterpreted his response.

Communication, communication, communication. I need for my partner to keep me informed of where things move to. I need to be informed. I need to voice my frustration before it gets to boiling point. We both need to talk about our feelings more, and how each of our contributions to our home and our relationship make us feel, and how we interpret each others contributions. It is not a competition, but for many couples it feels like it.

When people feel guilt or stress, it leads them to act funny ways. Often stress and guilt are barriers to communication. The key to overcoming them is to recognize what it is, and have the courage to talk about it. You might be able to do it as a couple, or you might want the help of a friend who can listen to the way you are communicating with each other and offer insights and advice.

We got it sorted out, and kissed and hugged. It wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t feel such love at the same time. But it served as a good reminder to me. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to think of the other person. You also need to entertain the possibility that you are misinterpreting each other. Talking about it is the way to expose the miscommunication and let the healing begin.

A good lesson to learn, even for the experts…

More at: Save My Marriage Today


Toilet Seats are Best Left Down

Seats Are There For A Reason

The day before yesterday I decided to write about marriage secrets and since I’ve been successfully married for over sixteen years that qualifies me to write about the subject. So in order to create a database of material I asked my oldest son for some thoughts. Apparently his first thought was to ask Beverly his one and only love for her thoughts. They being successfully married qualify for admittance to share their thoughts on marriage tips. So Beverly suggested a topic about toilet seats would be appropriate. So lets give it a flush and see how it works.

Cold Water And Butts Dont Mix

I’m developing this article while driving to McDonalds for a delicious side salad. Which does not thrill me but does meet with my doctor’s approval who discovered I have a slightly high cholesterol reading. The ranch dressing just barely makes the salad doable. During eating I discussed the toilet seat thought with my wife and said I don’t see the big deal with the seat stuff. But to my surprise, it did to her. She said apparently you have never sat down on a stool with the seat up. She did and it happened early in the morning when the sand man dust was still blurring her vision and she didn’t notice the seat was up. My wife’s cute body part apparently touched the coldness of the water and with no sense of censorship informed her then husband if this ever happens again he would be exiled to Alcatraz where the have no seats. Of course I’m not privy to what she really said so I’m just making this up. But all kidding aside when she told me this she was serious. So I being of sound mind and understand what thought she’s sharing with me. If I, which I never have, leave the seat up my keyster is going to be booted to the curb. Now she didn’t say that but that’s the email picture I received in my brain. And a picture tells more then a bunch of words.

Do Men Listen?

Then like usual I visited the men’s room and needed to sit rather then stand. Guess what the seat was up. Is that mind opening or what? And then with new insight in my head I thought how rude of the previous occupant for leaving the seat up. Apparently he hasn’t spoken with my wife yet.

I Felt the Difference

Then on the ride home I remembered a tit bit from my past. On this particular night I enjoyed too many brewski's and spicy food. In the wee hours of sleeping my disposal system kicked in and a quick journey to the bathroom was required and I sat down and the seat was up, boy did that add to the discomfort I was experiencing. It's funny what we remember when we think about something. Take is it from one who knows the stool works better when the seat is down. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by Linda N.