A Happy Marriage Requires Happy Feelings

I Don't Like Feeling Bad

I am a person who doesn’t like those feelings, I feel, when Linda My wife and I are having an issue about something. So my immediate desire is to make the uncomfortable feeling go away. Now if this feeling has been created by me and probably because of something I said, I am highly motivated to have Linda recognize I’m sorry and wish the whole issue to disappear. Sometimes crow eating is required, which I am sincere about and soon I receive the smile that indicates my parole has been granted. If the rolls are reversed I sense a pause in the conversation and then words are conveyed to me that were ok again. We both share a common interest in being ok with each other. I remember as a child I would once in awhile hear the saying never go to sleep before making up. We follow this thinking with one change’ we practice this thinking right when it happens and don’t wait till bedtime.

We Love Being OK With Each Other

I look forward to meeting with my male counter parts and enjoy the conversations we share together. I am amazed how many couples harbor bad feelings with each other and I can’t help but recognize how fortunate I am to be sharing my life with such a wonderful person; who like me understands the value of keeping are feelings ok between us.

Him, Hers and Theirs

Sam one of my club members is always eager to share his marital problems with me. I guess it's because I’m a good listener and it probable makes me feel good about how well I’m doing in my relationship in comparison to him. Here’s how complicated his married life is. One time he told me that seeing shrink doctors was costing him a bundle. He told me he and his wife had their own head doctor and then injected the information that they both jointly would see another fact finding doctor. That was a mind opening information for me. That confirmed my thinking that neither one of them are communicating well with each other. I would gladly share my success story but that would require listening and both of them would have to stop talking first and that at least from my vantage point never seems likely to happen. I extend my help by listening and hope they start paying attention to each other and listen more and talk less.

Where Theres Smoke Theres Fire

I don’t know everything, but I do know this. Keeping the fire of unhappiness going is a sure fire way to bring unhappiness in your marriage and give it a climate to perpetuate itself. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by merfam