Married or Single Which is Better?

Hands Down Marriage, If Love Rules

I once again proclaim myself an authority on this subject because I’ve experienced both singleness and togetherness. I have accumulated nineteen years of being single and a slightly shorter number being married. And the following is my observations concerning the pros and cons of being single or married. Since I have spent more time being single lets start there first. I’m judging my single time from the date of my divorce till I married again and that was roughly nineteen years. During this time I only proposed to one girl and that status only lasted about two months and failed because both of us saw the handwriting on the wall and realized almost unilaterally that I wasn’t marring material. The gesture on my part was genuine enough but didn’t carry the weight of total commitment and the girl in question who I adored discovered by my words and actions, that I wasn’t trying hard enough to make the journey to togetherness.

When Single I Never Mentioned the Word Love

All during this single phase in my life I don’t believe I ever said I love you. My loveless childhood no doubt influenced this faulty behavior. It doesn’t excuse my behavior but it certain helps to explain it.

Didn't Know What It Was

Look at it from my point of view both my childhood and first marriage produced a negative picture about love and it's no wonder I didn’t really believe love was for real. All during this time I chose to be single because I had no real experience in knowing what real love was. And it seemed to me that everyone in my area of influence wasn’t doing well with the love concept either. My adopted parents who I miss everyday were the exception to the rule and always showed their affection for each other. But alas my closed mind didn’t see the positive example they demonstrated. Sometimes I think we can get too much of a bad thing and spend the rest of our life trying to recover from it.

Blind Sided by Love

I don’t really think in my heart of hearts that I really wanted to spend the rest of my life alone, but I unknowingly chose this path because I didn’t know any better. Then one day I knocked on a door and it opened and there stood the love I have never known in my life. It was and still is the most over whelming feeling of wellness I have ever experienced in my life. In time I came to the conclusion that this was, what they referred to as being in love with someone.

Yes to Marriage If Love Rules

Now here’s my conclusion on the question is being married better the being single? Yes if your in love with the person your with. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by sugarpuss4ever