Don't Let Your Mouth Ruin Your Marriage

He Loses Control of his Words

Bill is kind of like superman, one minute he’s mild mannered, but then there are moments when he enters the phone booth and changes to a new person. And that probably wouldn't be a bad thing, if that made you a better person. Bill leaves the phone with a big mouth and hes prepared to use it. He’s wife Melody says she prays for peace every time they go out with other people. And she says there no specific thing that kicks him off. She says that most of the time Bill is very passive and hardly interrupts or for that matter hardly injects a thought while in this passive mood. But then like a bolt of lighting, he strikes and takes no prisoners. No matter what your saying hes on the other side of the issue and if that isn't bad enough he also raises the volume of his words as his rage kicks in. Melody says trying to control him is a total waste of time and finds comfort in just leaving him to his rage and exits to something like the bathroom or even going so far as to leave him and drive home. Eventually he will call and request a ride. Sometimes depending on his tone she picks him up. Other times she just put the phone down and hangs up when she hears the dial tone. Bill of course is ok when he finally gets home and is always puzzled why his wife runs out and leaves him to his own resources.

She Delivered Two Options

Finally out of sheer desperation she said divorce or therapy the choice is yours. Bill despite his raging said he loved his wife and opted for brain tinkering and not the farewell thing.

Insight Was Gained by Both of Them

During therapy they both learned things that gave them better insight into why they do certain things. So it was an eye opening experience for both of them. Tho the therapy was primarily for Bill, Melody learned triggers from her past that influenced bad behavior on her part.

Supervising Your Words is a Good Thing

It’s hard to imagine Bill being that other person today. Now hes a pillar of control and never raises his voice anymore. Even he speaks of how better he feels about himself and how better it is for their marriage.

Help is Often Helpful

So if you see yourself in this scenario maybe counseling will work for you. I have experienced my dark side and found help in talking to head people. After all were all human and sometimes like are car we need a tune up. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by abominable_eagle