A Good Marriage Requires Talking

We Didn't Do Enough Up Front Talking Before Saying I Do

It’s not necessarily what you say, it’s whether your talking at all. I think the number one thing to do before getting married is taking a course in communication. If you don't talk you wont resolve issues in your relationship. I look back on my first marriage and there wasn’t much talking going on. And I'm not exactly sure why that didn’t happen. Could be we didn’t really know each other like we should have, before we took the big step. I have a slight feeling that getting together for us, was for reasons not necessarily for all the right reasons

We Finding Stopped Talking

I think in many ways we weren’t mature enough to handle the togetherness and then rather then waiting till we were older we started having a family and that was more learning and we had not solved the first phase of just being coupled up. I wanted it to work and in my soul of souls and I think so did she. But we were still young still learning and we didn't have the skills of time to show us the right things to do. So talking to each other slowly came to a stand still and each of us just hurt and then the door of opportunity shut and it never opened again. She occupies a special place in my world of information and all the words spoken in anger don't even rate an audience in the scheme of my thinking today. That was then and this is now and I'm sure were both smarter for the experience of our learning.

Today Clarification is Our Up Front Thinking

Today I have totally consumed the art of communication. Every faulty word, phrase or thought is quickly clarified so that no mountains are created out of an ant hill. If I’m wrong I say it, mean it and make sure the love of my life receives it. Then I just give her space to assimilate and then the flag of okness is raised and I know all is well again. It doesn't happen often, but being human we even with the the best of intentions step in the smelly stuff and need to clean the bottom of our shoes.

Don't Start Fires You Cant Put Out

I sometimes think of all the people who stop talking to each other and then start fires burning that they can't seem to put out. And everyday the fires gets bigger and bigger and then they loose sight of what brought them together and how wonderful and incredible all those feelings felt like. And then we create a new us and that’s the new person who their children learn from and then a new generation of wrong thinking is generated and so the journey goes and it all started with one little fire that could have been easily extinguished with the words and thoughts that said, I'm sorry and I love you.

Love Will Be Your Reward Loving Each Other

In the learning stages of getting together care is required and love should rule every situation. If your following this thinking of love; words and patience you'll find your place in the field of love and not want for anything better because that is the gold at the end of the rainbow. That’s my feeling and I’m sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

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