The Best Thing to Give Your Significant Other

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The Best Thing to Give Your Significant Other
By Kris & Anita Rossow

One of the best gifts that you can give your soul mate is a healthy self esteem. When you are truly comfortable in your own skin and know who you are and where you are going you will really have something to offer someone else. No one wants to end up with a 'leech', a person who can't really function without constant affirmation to build up their self esteem.

Once upon a time I believed that this topic was only relevant to females but the more life I live the more I discover that males have the same self esteem issues and deal with them in a different way!

In Nathaniel Brandon's description of self esteem he states "self-esteem as a basic human need, i.e., ' makes an essential contribution to the life process', " indispensable to normal and healthy self-development, and has a value for survival." Maslow described two kinds of self esteem needs, the "need for respect from others and the need for self-respect." Without self esteem the individual feels discouraged weak and inferior. Do you have a healthy self esteem? Do you draw your self esteem from an external sources that may cause you to crumble when they do? Where do you draw your self worth from?

This idea of self esteem ties in with our basic core need for acceptance and value. We desire to be accepted by others and to be valued for what we do and who we are. It is very dangerous when a person's self esteem primarily comes from what they do and from what people think of them.

When we compare ourselves to the glam models we see in magazines or to the sporting heroes on our television sets we will never measure up to what the world seems to value and accept as popular. Self esteem is the opinion you have of yourself.

In order to become comfortable in your own skin you need to build your self esteem and understand that you are valuable just as you are. Building self esteem is a step towards happiness in life. The fact that we are here on earth and have been created to live a purposeful life is of value. We can't always rely on others to validate us. Sometimes we need to take responsibility for boosting our own self confidence. Self esteem increases your confidence which in turn boosts your self respect. When we respect ourselves we can respect others and improve our relationships.

Low self esteem causes depression, unhappiness, insecurity and poor confidence which all have a negative effect on relationships in our life. When we listen to negative 'self talk' it impacts on our ability to focus on others in life and causes us to be consumed with ourselves. Two important keys to increasing self confidence include; facing our fears and forgetting our failures.

Facing our fears will increase our confidence and build our 'I can do anything' attitude to success! Failures are better forgotten than remembered. Forget the failure but don't forget the lesson you learnt. Always remember that the only people who haven't failed in life are the people sitting there doing nothing! You don't want to become one of them. Odds are if you're living life to the max you will fail sometimes. Choose to focus on the success and learn from the failure, don't befriend it and use it as an excuse to do nothing.

Being comfortable in your own skin and having a healthy self esteem is one of the greatest gifts you can give your soul mate. If you are confident and comfortable with who you are you will attract that into your life.

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